THIS SURE AIN'T APRIL BUT IT FEELS LIKE IT AGAIN...

WHEN that Aprilis, with his showers swoot
The drought of March hath pierced to the root,
And bathed every vein in such licour,
Of which virtue engender'd is the flower;

Caterbury Tales - Chaucer

Ok, to those of you that know me, those of you that are my friends those of you that actually care you know that April I was a wilted flower. I was drained. I was as low as low could be. Drained as much as anyone could ever be physically drained. All the showers from March in Hawaii could not even begin to start filling me because the drought of the past months had pierced clear through to my root. Had pierced my inner being. Had pierced my soul.

I tasted those showers in Hawaii. I felt them on my face everywhere I went - it was sweet and all but it did nothing to fill me up. Then slowly I was able to nourish myself through other ways not just through the rain of April but through the great strength of family and friends. I was finding I was able to stand up for myself getting stronger. I was finding the sweetness of finding myself, finding my husband and finding my kids again. Finding myself through TRUTH. Through the TRUTH told to me by my husband and my friends. I started to focus on me - Focusing on 360D. Focusing on the last year (letting the Truth set me FREE) and focusing on just surviving. But sadly others can't seem to do the same. They can't seem to let truth be just that. Rumors and their own lives they live in lies. Their own lives become their own lives through those lies they live in their own drought. They have to focus on other peoples lives. Does anyone really care about the TRUTH? No! Does anyone really want to hear about the truth? NO! Do people like to talk YES!! So what do they talk about? Well, since it isn't the truth and they don't ask the source; it is as if they have plucked me from my garden and uprooted me from where I am and they are just having the time of their life watching me wilt again - piercing me to the root. But I have strength and I will again survive. Truth with come out and truth will prevail but I would have liked to have time to just bathe in that sweet licour some. My door is open, my phone is always free. So... Yes - You have put me back into March again but it will start rainaing again. It will rain HARD!! I will not be beaten but I will bloom and you will have to keep up with your sorrows and lies and rumors and knowledge that you have caused hurt on purpose for no reason. I stand behind the fact that all I did was try to GROW. Try to just be me. Try to bloom and try to be a friend and trust - silly me!!

SO that poem I learned- Canterbury Tales - the one that started

When that April, with its showers so sweet

The drought of March had pierced to the root

and drained every vein of its sweet liquor

which virtue endured is the flower -

I will Be the FLOWER in the end -

I will survive - I will endure so quit trying to pull me down as it's getting old

To my family and my friends you are the dew on my petals, you are the sunshine on my face and you are the clouds that shade me when the sun gets too hot. Thank you for being there for me when things get too much for me. Thank you for being everything for me! You are always there for me and I appreciate you so much!!!